Sep 12, 2006

Not What I Expected

I always thought I would be one of those madonnaesque painting type moms smiling lovingingly while children play adoringly around my feet clinging to my skirts while I am peaceful and happy. I never expected to get frustrated. I have so much love to give, I thought that would be enough to make everything else fall into place. I never thought there would be days when I was thrilled that the screaming alien who has possessed my child has finally given up the fight and fallen asleep out of exhaustion from the drama of fighting once again to be able to eat popcorn for supper instead of something hideously healthy like spaghetti or some other such dreadful concoction. I thought it would be easy. I truly did. I never thought I would be the one sitting outside her door crying while she throws a temper tantrum on the other side.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen often. And, maybe that is why it is so hard. She is such a happy easy going kid that when for some reason all that goes out the window and she turns into a 4 year old demanding alien child, I am thrown for a loop. I feel like I have no tools to deal with that and simply loving her out of it doesn't work. They were wrong, when they told me love was enough. Sometimes as a mom, love is the only tool I have, and it doesn't feel like enough.

On a happier note, there are other days. Better Days. Days that come far more often than the ones I discussed here. There are the days that she comes home from preschool thrilled to see me, showing off the results of all her hard work. There are days we cuddle together and watch Blues Clues and read stories or just cuddle on her bed, and there is simply the feeling of her holding my hand. Those are the days that make those other more rare days worth surviving.

on a funny little note: the day care teacher told me that when Little Princess doesn't want to do any more letters and numbers she tells her that the pencil is tired. LOL

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I def have days like that with my four year old. I just have to leave the room and get some air. By the time I get back, things always seem much better.

Anonymous said...

Girlie Girl is 4, too. Ever since she started preschool, she has become a wild child! Sometimes she drives me crazy!

Anonymous said...

Same here! Except I have little boys and the alien visits a bit more frequently. The Aliens find it fun to try and beat each other out of my children's bodies. :> Great post.

Anonymous said...

Let's have your little Princess meet my little Prince and see who tantrums the best!

Anonymous said...

Oh my, you're going through this too! Kate is a very good girl most of the time - but wow, she sure can get angry and out of sorts every once in a while.

She's so stubborn just like me - I guess my Mom's curse; "I hope you have a daughter just like you someday" came to pass.

:sigh:

Anonymous said...

Great post.
I remember when my oldest was 4 she threw a tantrum in WallMart. All eyes were on her, and she got so embarrassed. Never did it again.
My 3yo. is a hopper. When she doesn't get a nap and she's cranky, she starts hopping, I call her my 'lil froggy!
Then there's my son, being diabetic, it was hard for me to tell if he was having a low attack, or just acting like a normal 3yo. They're not always like that, but they sure do have some moments where I'm saying Who are you, and what have you done with my angel baby?

Anonymous said...

I think what you describe is pretty normal (although I have yet to experience it firsthand...lol!). Kids throw tantrums and moms get frustrated. It's the circle of life unfortunately. But as everyone tells me about the stuff I go through with my 21 month old, this too shall pass. :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I can relate. Pretty much everyday is like that; happy kid, Hurricane A has arrived, bed. You know it's going to be a long day when you pray for bedtime at 7am. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Hey if it makes you feel any better I told Pan my 6 year old that I wasn't sure who he was - because no child of mine or Mr. Incredibles would ever do that.

He looked at me like I had lost it - and starting bawling and apologizing for getting in trouble.

I think it's normal for mom's to be at the end of their rope - we just have to remember to tie a knot and hang on - because most of the time - being a parent is great!

Anonymous said...

I totally know what you mean. I have a 6,5,3, and 1. It was when both of my sons hit 5 that life calmed down dramatically. Lots of moms told me that would happen. I think 2's,3's, and 4's are hard stages. If you can just pull through, you'll see what I mean. The tears are normal! You're a good mom, don't worry.

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