From the Depths of Login Hell

Sometimes, dial-up sucks. Well . . . it sucks all the time, but sometimes it sucks worse than others. I am a part of mothers group. It is a wonderful group of great ladies whose company and opinions I value very much. However, since I have dial-up I have troubles logging in to the group. I log in and I stay logged in until Prince Charming deletes the cookies on our computer. The minute he does that I am stuck in login hell again. I log in, then I navigate to the page, and the site says, "no no no, you need to log in first." to which I of course reply, "I DID log in, stupid computer!". This carries on for an eternity until I give up and try later. When I try later, we argue some more and then finally I am logged in.

But then, the next time I sit down to the computer, Prince Charming has again deleted the cookies and I am returned once again to login/dial-up hell!!!! AAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!

When did I sign up for that part of the contract?

Somewhere along the way, I think I got on the wrong bus. I often think how different my life is than I had planned but there are moments when I am sitting here bleary eyed, feeding Little Princess her breakfast,I wonder where I went wrong. I remember saying for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, but I missed the part that says that I am the morning person, I am the housework person, I will take care of things and he is the stay up all night, sleep all day, get up around 1 pm person. Because had that been on the options list, I am pretty sure I would have signed up for a day or two of it. You know, you can have the night owl options on Monday through Saturday, but on Sunday . . . wake me and you DIE!

Now don't get me wrong, I love My Prince Charming. But there are times, I wonder how he got such a good deal out of this whole affair. Oh well . . . he also misses the morning cuddles, the morning bright as sunshine smiles and greetings and the extra time I take for myself in the quiet.

Woke up to Snow Covered Lawn

Isn't it funny how our views on things change as we get older. When I was a kid, I loved the first sign of snow. When I saw a snowflake, I saw sledding, snowmen, snowforts, and a clean slate waiting for me to jump in and create my own picture. Now that I am older, when I see snow, I see wet feet, cold fingers, shivering in the cold, cars getting stuck or worse ice causing accidents. But now that I have Little Princess, she brings me back to the wonder that is a new falling snowflake.

This morning, I looked out and saw that snow had fallen over night. It wasn't much but it had stayed. Little Princess looked out and saw the snow and was filled with glee, her response was, "Can I go make snow angels?" In one question she brought me back to my childhood memories of fun in the snow and the excitement of that first sight of falling snow.

Someone Special

I think I am suffering from Country Music Video overdose. Little Princess got stuck on CMT tonight and we sat together cuddling watching videos. There were some really touching videos that made me sentimental and sappy, so be prepared for a sappy post.

Tonight I had Grandma Great in for supper. I was making something different and I wanted to do something for her to thank her in my own way for all the stuff she does for us. Tonight sitting her at the computer, I was struck by how lucky I am. My Mother-in-law is more like a mom2. She cares about me like someone cares about her daughter. I can feel the love she has and I feel blessed. She does so much for us every day, I don't think I could ever thank her for every little thing. But mostly I want to thank her for welcoming me into her life. I want to thank her for being a mother to me for the last 5 years. She has never judged me. She has never made me feel like anything less than part of the family. Grandpa Grumpy may have his flaws, but Grandma Great makes me grateful every day that I am a part of her family. I have so much to thank her for, but most of all I just want to thank her for loving me.

Lazy Saturday

Well, it is Saturday morning and I am being lazy. I have accomplished nothing other than to get my Little Princess up, dressed and fed. I will eventually get to it and do something but I just don't want to today.

With a month until Christmas, I figured I would has a holiday question. What was your favorite Christmas memory?

I am sad.

Ever since I found him, Prince Charming has been my Galahad, my White Knight. He is my shelter from all the big bad in the world. I lean on him and I depend on him to protect me. But there are times, I wish I could return the favor. Last night after going to see his father, Grandpa Grumpy, Prince Charming came home devastated. Well apparently GG was having a few drinks with the boys and he felt it necessary to point out to PC what a failure he is.

I looked at his face and looked into the eyes of a ten year old boy who had failed yet again to meet up with his father's expectations. I looked into the eyes of pain. How can I protect him from that? How can I look into those eyes and erase the pain. How can I explain to him that whether or not he ever gets another job he will never be a failure to me or to our daughter.

He has been trying so hard, and things have been going so well between them but last night, I looked into his face and saw, "Why bother?" written there. I feel his pain just the same as if it were happening to me. More so, because I am strong and I can take it. But I love him and I don't want him to be unhappy. I want him to be proud of us, of himself. He is the best man I know. And it kills me to see his father cut him down to the point that he withdraws into a shell all the while saying he is fine, he is a big strong man, he doesn't care. But I KNOW him. I know he cares. I can see he cares. And it kills me. I would love to make GG understand how much he hurts PC when he does that. But on some level I honestly don't think GG would care even if he did know. And that is the saddest part of all.

Thursday Thirteen

Thursday Thirteen

1. Do you ever give anyone the silent treatment when you are angry? I don't know if I do. I tend to withdraw if I am angry. I go into my own space and wait until I can talk without being irrational. But I don't sit there, furiously silent.

2. How do 4 year olds get it into their head that it is okay to tell another 4 year old that she is fat? This poor little girl later turned to her mother and said, "Well mommy, I AM fat." She is NOT! She is beautiful!

3. I left Little Princess with her grandmother for the first time today. She did great.

4. I notice how creative she is becoming and she blows me away.

5. Have you started your Christmas Shopping? Have you finished your Christmas Shopping? I have not started. AAACCCKKKK!

6. Do you do any kind of annual family picture that you send out? I see this done be the families on television shows and I would like to do it, but I haven't yet.

7. Do any of your friends or family call you early in the morning? Most of my family knows not to, Prince Charming is a late sleeper and less than charming when he gets woken up by the phone. But this week, I have been woken up early every day.

8. What is your favorite new show of the fall? I love a lot of the new shows but I would have to say my favorite is a toss-up between Supernatural and Ghost Whisperer. They are AWESOME!!

9. Where do you have your computer in your house? What room is it in? Ours is in our spare bedroom now, but it has been in our bedroom, our living room, and our dining room. So I am curious as to what others do.

10. Do you have a junk drawer in your kitchen? How much junk is in it? Ours is constantly stuffed. I am always trying to weed through it, but that is a never ending battle.

11. Grandma Great is loving my digi-scrapbooking and wants me to try to find a job in the graphic design field. I love that she is so amazed.

12. My Little Princess is starting to get a great imagination. I have seen her giving rides on on her back to an imaginary friend pretending that she is a flying dragon. She lays flat on her belly and tells me, "Look Mommy, I am a rectangle!" She has me dressing her in imaginary jackets and costumes. She has a new toy and I have seen her talking to her Elmo and reading him stories. She is so funny. Her daddy was going to put batteries in a toy at Grandma Great's house and he needed a screwdriver. He asked her to ask for one and she went running out to her grandmother asking for a school stardriver. tee hee

13. And finally, a fond good night. I am exhausted and I should have been asleep hours ago.

Introspection

Tell me, do you ever wonder what your 17 year old self would think if they saw you now? Would you be impressed? Shocked? Sad? Happy? What would you think? Did you meet your plans for yourself?

I think that my 17 year old self would be shocked. In the years since my graduation, I have become far more brave and independent than I thought. I was a lot older than I expected when I got married and I didn't marry the kind of person I thought I would. My life has been much more eventful and mobile than I had expected. I don't think that my 17 year old self would have planned for my life to go this way, but then, what did I know? I was a kid. I didn't know what was best for me.

I guess it is kind of like that song unanswered prayers. I think you have to trust that things are going to go the way they should.

When I moved to my last home, I would never have moved here instead. I was stuck on cities and urban living. Rural living wasn't a consideration or even an option. But living in the last place I lived opened my mind to other options. I have said in the past that I thought it was a mistake to move there, but looking back on it now, I can't say that. It was expensive and I wish I had gone straight here instead. But I wouldn't have. My best friend wouldn't have been able to move closer to her dad and I wouldn't be living here where I can take a financial blow and be knocked down but not out.

When I graduated high school marrying someone like Prince Charming who would be so disapproved by my family and friends would have been out of the question. Add to that the fact that I am 4 years older than he is and I wouldn't have looked at him. But a few years later and a lifetimes experience later, I was opened up to the possibility and I was strong enough to fight for the love I found.

I guess that means that even my mistakes can't be regrets. Because I wouldn't have gotten here without going there first.

How Strange

We have all heard the story how a girl will marry a man just like her father. So, I have a question? Do you notice any similarities between your prince charming and your father? I do notice that they both have similar personalities. Nothing scary, but they are both the kind of people who stand up for what they believe in and for those they feel need a White Knight. As a child, my father would sing to me constantly especially on long car rides. Prince Charming used to sing to me all the time, he has now graduated to singing to our Little Princess more. So I guess that tradition continues. They both have the kind of personality where they will talk to anyone and the kind of humurous personality that you either love them or you hate them there is no in between. So, I guess in the broad sense of the word, I did marry someone with some of the same personality traits as my father.

Now here is where it gets a little strange. Prince Charming is VERY close to his mother. I admire that relationship, I always have even when I worried that it may come before ours, I still was glad he was so close to her. The odd thing is that Grandma Great and I are just so similar. We have the same type of personality, we have the same type of cooking habits, we have similar healthy issues, we have the same likes and dislikes. I love her. She is the kindest, most loving, most tender person I know. But, make no wonder, I get along so well with her, she is an older version of myself. We have always lived far away from her until now, and I never realized just how similar we are. But every day, I discover something else we have in common. Make no wonder Prince Charming and I hardly ever have any fights he has been living with me all his life, I just wasn't there to know it. LOL. I don't mind. I love that I can be so close to his mother. I love that I can talk to her and that I have a ready-made friend in my MIL.

I just wonder if this is a phenomenon that anyone else has experienced. When they said that girls married a man like their father, did they mean the same thing for their sons? Do any of you have this feeling? Well all I can say is we may have the same personality but THANK GOD, she got Grandpa Grumpy and I got Prince Charming.

There really is a difference, I just can't see it

I just saw a commercial that really spoke to me as a mom. The commercial opens with the mother taking a brand new teddy out of the box. She proceeds to beat this poor bear to death, running it over with the van, ripping out his eye and generally just abuses him. Then she puts him in the van and picks up her daughter. The daughter buckles him into his seatbelt, thrilled that her mother has found her precious friend whom she has loved to death and worn out.

I have so been there. On those days that the Little Princess has lost the one bib that is the only bib she can use as a lovey to suck her thumb. Never mind that she has 5 yellow bibs and one green one and to me they look all the same. She needs to have the orange bib. The ORANGE BIB????? She doesn't own an orange bib!? But aahh, you don't understand there is a spot of orange on this yellow bib and that marks it as the special bib of the moment. I can't count the number of times I have turned the house upside down just so I can find a bib that to me looks exactly the same as the other bibs because in order to go to sleep, she must have just the right bib, which is apparently vitally different even if those differences are not apparent to the naked grownup eye.

Holding Back

Do you ever censor yourself with regards to what you put in your blog? Are you ever really anxious to post something and then you hold yourself back due to propriety or what you think will interest your blog friends?

When I first started this blog, I made sure that none of my relatives knew about it. The reason was that I knew that I would hold back if they were reading it. I couldn't be open and myself.

But sometimes, even now, I hold back. I think to myself, "Now really, TC, who would want to read that? That really is too much information." Like, the other day, when Prince Charming and I had crazy, wild, hot monkey sex, where it was the middle of the day and we didn't even get completely undressed." This was so incredible that I longed to come right here and sing it from the rooftops. But I held back, because really do you guys really want to know that? I mean, none of you want to hear how for a long time I was depressed and my sex drive was somewhere between low to none. But now, I am back, we are back and I am loving it. I would love to post about it, but would that offend you and send you running for the hills ducking for cover from rain of horror that you have witnessed.

But isn't that the purpose of a blog? Shouldn't it be a place where you feel free to post about whatever is on your mind? Should it be the one place in the world where you are free to be yourself and propriety be damned?

So, do you do that? Do you long to post something but hold back out of a fear that some will find it offensive, horrible, or boring?

A step toward the serious for a moment

When did we as a society get so size obsessed that we extended that standard to our children. I remember when I first got told I was fat. I was 12 years old and I had just started to develop curves. I wasn't fat. At All. But that comment (from my grandmother) and others like it started me on a downward spiral that lead me to spending my teenage years eating as little as possible. I remember only eating when people were looking and constantly obsessing. To this day, I don't know how to eat right. I have to ways of eating. The kind that leads to me gaining weight and the kind that leads to obsession, eating disorders, scale obsession, lying about how little I am eating and all the not so lovely obsession related things that come with dieting. I want so badly to lose weight. I want to be that curvy, skinny girl I see in my high school pictures. But I know that the reason I was there was because I hardly ever ate. I know that at my low point, I resorted to bulimia. I know that I secretly admired people who were anorexic because they had more willpower than I did. As a child, I was hospitalized for not eating. I want to lose weight but I don't want that anymore.

I am also scared for my Little Princess. She is tiny. She is a very slender girl. I hate it when I hear constantly how she is too skinny. She eats, I am constantly trying to get more food into her. But I don't want to pass along my food obsessions. I don't want her to obsess over her weight whether she be obsessing over being too big or being too small.

I have heard of a freinds little girl at three years old being told that she was going to grow up to be a linebacker. I have heard of another friends little girl at 2 1/2 looking into the mirror and telling herself that she was too fat. What are we passing along to our little girls? What are we telling them? We see these images and stories of girls in the public eye who have felt the need to resort to eating disorders to remain an acceptable size. Do we really want to pass this along to our kids?

And as for me, do I need to just remain fat in order to not pass along my eating issues to my baby girl? In doing so, am I passing along other issues? For the most part, I try to just be positive. I let her eat when she is hungry, I don't force her to when she is not. I make her eat healthy food before junk food. The way I look at it, I have obsessed over my body so much that I don't hear it when it tells me if I am hungry or full. I want her to learn to hear her body. I guess that is the only way I know to make sure she stays healthy and that she has a healthy respect and love for the enjoyment we can all get from eating.

Goodnight my friends.

It is late and I should be sleeping but I just had to drop by and chat. I am so unmotivated to get anything done today, but that could be because I am feeling kinda . . . yucky. I think I have some kind of measles or some such nonsense. I am inching like crazy and I am about to lose my mind. Poor Little Princess seemed to get the worst of it today. She was in a bad mood today too and between the pair of us Poor Prince Charming had to go into hiding. The good news is that today is almost over and tomorrow has to be better, right? Please lie to me to make me feel better okay?

I watched CSI today. It was awesome. I actually cried. I was so touched by the whole thing. That show really is one of the best things on television right now as far as I am concerned.

Well, I am off to bed to pretend to sleep. I may have to sleep in handcuffs to avoid the scratching. And I can think of much better reasons to wear handcuffs to bed. (Not that I would ever do such a thing LOL)

Keeping the Darkness at Bay

Lets talk about the Little Princess. She is so funny and she amazes me every day. The last week or so, I have found that her understanding of things is jumping by leaps and bounds. She can go and get herself snacks out of the kitchen or clothes she wants to wear now!

Sometimes the things she says makes me a little sad for her. Yesterday, she was sitting on the floor, papers and crayons scattered all around her. She picked up the black crayon and started to draw and said to me, "I am scared of the dark." I looked at her and said, "I know baby". After she was done her picture, she picked it up to show me. It was a page filled with black scribbles. I looked at her and smiled and said, "That is really nice baby, what is it?" To which she replied, "This is a picture of scared." I asked, "Scared?" and she said, "yes, this is me scared of the dark". My heart broke a little then. My poor baby.

Last night, when she was sleeping, I heard her start to cry suddenly, very hard. I went into her room and she was in bed, still mostly sleeping, sobbing. I climbed onto her bed, and lay down beside her, rubbing her back and soothing her with softly spoken words. She went right back to sleep. I hate that she has nightmares. I hate that ever since the hurricane, when she was 20 months old, she has been terrified of the dark. I hate that anything bad and dark and black exists in her little world. I never thought darkness would encroach on her world at such a young age. I hate that I can't protect her from it. She is only 3 1/2. I would love for her world to be sunshine and happiness all the time. She is normally such a happy musical child, I just wish I could keep the darkness at bay.

Hallelujah!

The cable guy has finally deigned to bestow his wonderful gift upon us! We have cable. I have never been so happy to see a guy in a white van in my life. We now have left the ranks of the cable-tv challenged and are free to watch something other than the hundreds of tapes I own. I am so sick of vhs tapes that I may never watch one again (okay so that may be a slight exaggeration). I can't wait to get a guide and figure out when all our shows are on.

On the other hand, life is good at the Twisted Castle. Prince Charming is more charming than ever and the Little Princess is enjoying the freedom and the family. She is picking up on music listened to by teenagers around her and I just know I will soon be saying such parenting phrases as "WHAT are you listening to?" and "Can you please turn that junk down?" But in the meantime, I can still send her to bed for a nap when I need a little peace and quiet. Aaahh life is good.

Now if I could only find something interesting to do with chicken for supper tonight, life would be perfect.

His surprise.

Today was wonderful. Prince Charming suprised me by hiring a sitter and then took me for a walking tour of all his old hiding spots. Hand in hand we hiked through trails and across fields.

He took me a point on a cliff overlooking the ocean where he sat as a kid and pondered whatever was on his mind looking at the point where the ocean meets the night sky.

One by one he took me to spots that held special memories for him and then proceeded to share them with me.

He told me stories of pranks and games played by little boys growing up in a rural community. One story he told was of a place he used to play in the woods, that he and his friends named Gothos. There was a nosy neighbour who used to spy on the kids as they played and as they got older he would follow them and get into their youthful belongings they had stashed. One day these boys decided to get even in their own way. They took a galvanized bar of metal and gave it a handle made it look like a sword with no sharp edges. They put a bolt through the end that didn't have the handle. Then they made a cement block with the sword put down into it with the bolt buried deep into the cement. They made a metal name plate calling it "The Sword in the Stone" and saying that a treasure awaited the person who managed to remove the sword from the stone. Then they left it there in the middle of the woods. A few days later they came back and they could see that someone had been chipping at the cement with a large rock. The next day, they came back and the cement was shattered and the sword was bent around a large tree. Apparently, the man who followed them had gotten a sledge hammer or something of the sort, smashed the cement and finding nothing but a sword with a bolt for his troubles, he got angry and swung the bar bending it around the tree. These boys thought this was soo funny. The idea of this guy working so hard and getting all red-faced and sweaty and then getting nothing for his rewards was too much for a few adolecent boys to take. They enjoyed it greatly.

Along our walk, I was awestruck by the beauty of the area. In my minds eyes, I could see children running through the fields, sitting on the cliffs, throwing rocks into the ocean, and hiding away and telling secrets. It was wonderful to share his past, to see how peaceful moving home has made him feel. If I wasn't already thrilled to be living here, todays walk would have made me feel that way all on its own.

I love that he did this as a surprise. I love that he wanted to share that with me. I love that it was special.

Is that love?

What is love to you? I wonder about this sometimes. I once had a boss/friend that was happily married for a very long time. They had a house in Ontario and another in Florida. And, throughout the course of the year one or the other spent about half their time down in Florida while the other other stayed back to watch the family business. If they spent too much time together in the one town, they drove each other crazy. But I talked to them, I heard them talk about each other, they loved and admired each other. They just could live together all the time. So this is the solution that they came up with. Is that love?

I know a couple, I will call them Ariel and Eric. A number of years ago, Ariel left Eric for a man she met on-line. While she was gone, Eric met a woman and had an affair with her. Eric begged Ariel to come back and she did. But Eric seems to feel like now that she has come back, he has the upper hand. Their marriage is a power struggle and he feels like has upper hand. Ariel always suspects him of cheating. She spies on him and accuses him on occasion. And he in turn accuses her. On bad days, their marriage is a hotbed of tension and suspicions. But there are times that they seem close. On good days, they go to dances, watch their grandchildren, and seem close. They have been tother for about 27 years. Is that love?

I know another couple that got married and became one. They are like two trees that grew leaning on eachother. Without the other, neither one can stand. I honestly hope that if one of them ever dies, they go together, because neither one could ever keep their sanity alone. It seems that love has made them completely dependant on each other. Is that love?

Prince Charming came along and swept me off my feet when I wasn't looking. He came from the shadows and together we fought to create a life for ourselves despite the obstacles in our way. He makes me stronger. With him at my back, I can fight any battle. He used to bring me flowers every day in. There are less romantic gestures now. Instead, he is my Prince Charming, he stands in guard front of me and our daughter and protects us from the world. When I am upset, his arms around me makes it all more bearable. I am so proud of the person he is. Is that love?

Thinking about Christmas

I have been thinking about Christmas, it is coming soon and we are really broke this year. Last year was awesome. I had a severance cheque from my job and I used it to make Christmas one to remember. But this year, I just sank all the money we have into our move. We have very little left for gifts and such. But still I am looking forward to it. I am looking forward to decorating, to spending time with family, to Christmas movies, to Christmas Carols, to all the old fashioned traditions. I will still get things for my Little Princess and she is still young enough not to care if they are expensive gifts for cheap ones. And Prince Charming and I will have Christmas together home with our family. Her joy over her presents will be enough to make us happy anyway. If you have any ideas of crafts or inexpensive gifts to give Grandpa Grumpy and Grandma Great, I would appreciate it. But mostly, I wish you all a happy holiday season, because as early as it is yet, I know ours will be great with or without the big pile of gifts under the tree.

The 24 Hour Meme

I got tagged by yellojkt to do this meme. This may be my most boring blog ever as I have a very boring life and you can't possibly be interested in this stuff, but anyway, here it goes.

Blond Girl loves memes so much she has even invented her own. You have to come up with something for every different hour of the day.

12:00 Midnight: I put a tape into the vcr (as I have no cable) with Prince Charming. He saw the name of his hobby marked on the tape and wanted to find out what was on it.

1:00 am: I laughed up a storm when I realized that his show had been taped over and he had just spent a hour watching and fast forwarding through a complete tape of Debbie Travis' Painted House. (My Little Princess was born at 1:22 am on a Sunday)

2:00 am: The day that my Little Princess was born this was the time, I first tried to breastfeed her. It was sweet and wonderful and the only time it went well for us the whole time we breastfed.

3:00 am: The first time I went to a party with my friends out of town, this is the time that I came home. It was awesome and I was about 16. I was so amazed that mom and dad let me away with it.

4:00 am: There was a long time my Little Princess would wake up at this time every day and want cuddling and attention. I must confess that I am less than Princess-like when I am awoken at this hour.

5:00 am: My FIL, Grandpa Grumpy, volluntarily gets up at this hour to go moose hunting. I have to tell you, I love moose, but I don't love anything enough to get up at this time volluntarily. The moose would just have to wait!

6:00 am: When I was working at my least favorite job ever. I had to get up at this time and then 10 minutes later, I would hop on the bus for a 1 1/2 hour bus ride to get to work.

7:00 am: I used to be a cake decorator for 8 years this was the time my shift started.

8:00 am: The time I usually hear the Little Princess wake up and start playing.

9:00 am: On a good day the time that she wakes me up.

10:00 am: The time we have usually finished breakfast, baths, clean up and we cuddle together in the living room.

11:00 am: For 2 years she slept until this time every day. Prince Charming was staying home with her while I worked and as he is NOT a morning person, this worked well for him.

12:00 noon: Lunch time. I usually make something for the Little Princess and I as now that I am home, Prince Charming has taken to getting up at this time and he doesnt eat for a while.

1:00 pm: About when I can get my family out of the house if we have something to do because of the time Prince Charming gets up.

2:00 pm: About when the little Princess goes down for a nap.

3:00 pm: Time for me. I usually read, clean, take a bath, do laundry, have a cup of coffee, whatever. It is always my second favorite time of the day I think it takes me back to when I was a kid and this was when we got out of school and afterwards when I was a cake decorator, it was when I got off work.

4:00 pm: About the time, I start to make supper.

5:00 pm: When we eat supper. And I am proud to say that since we moved here we have had a family supper at the table with background music every night. Not like college kids in front of the tv. I remember working and watching the clock for this time to come so I could go home. The last half hour was an eternity.

6:00 pm: About the time, I start to experience the shakes if I don't eat supper at 5. This is terrible and leads to much overeating when I do finally eat.

7:00 pm: When I used to go to the movies. I like the early movies as I get home a decent hour and to some movies, I can even take my Little Princess. But now there is no theatre here, so I guess that is a moot point.

8:00 pm: The Little Princess' bedtime. She goes to bed easily and the whole process only takes about 5 - 10 minutes.

9:00 pm: About the time that all good shows start to come on here . . . when we have cable to watch them!

10:00 pm: My little Princess usually falls asleep at about this time at least 2 hours after going to bed. When she falls asleep earlier (like tonight) she usually gets up in the middle of the night demanding attention and drinks.

11:00 pm: When I was working, this was my bedtime.

And you have to tag people for a meme to spread and my memory is pretty bad, so I'm tagging Better Safe than Sorry, Trinity13, and Theresa. Give it a shot guys. As always no obligations, no recriminations.

Wednesday's Wandering Thoughts

Wow, I was Michele's site of the day yesterday! How awesome! If I had known, I would have written something witty, or funny, or incredible. But instead you were treated to a view of my new home. Oh well. Note about yesterday's post, the pink couch was in my old place. I loved it but I couldn't take it. It was another in a long line of victims of my gypsy life of moving. I didn't like that it clashed with the hideous green walls in that place anyway. My best friend, Notsosnowwhite now has custody of that couch.

My parents have gone back and life is returning to a quiet semblance of order. My little Princess is calmly eating oatmeal for her breakfast and I have sneaked off to visit you for a minute. My repreive won't last long as I can hear the natives getting restless and I will soon need to make an appearance again.

I have no cable here. I have no television at all beyond movies I already own. I was trying to wait until I could arrange a satelite dish, but I have to confess, I am apparrently about as tv addicted as it gets and I am losing my mind!!!! I don't know how much more of this I can stand before I go out and get cable. Prince Charming suggested we get cable even if it was for one week because he too is starting to go a bit stir crazy. It was alright for a while, I own hundreds of movies and I have regular shows from years gone by on tape. But I can only watch so many episodes of "Fame", "Quantum Leap", "Growing Pains", "Suddenly Susan", and "The Nanny" before I swear I will lose it completely and start to lose my mind completely. I never realized how much I like to sit down in the evenings and watch a show to relax but boy do I miss it now.

Well, I just heard a bump and "Ouch!" so I guess I should check and make sure everthing is okay out there! talk to you later and hopefully next time, I will have something less rambling to say.

Finally Sharing some Pics

In the past, my moves had made me leave behind bigger and bigger parts of myself. I love to decorate and to have nice things, but my houses were beginning to look like a college student's with hand-me-downs and bit and peices from here and there. Just when I got things together to start to look nice, it all fell apart and I moved again. Here, things are different. Coming here, to a full house of furniture allowed me to pull things together in my own way. I have been able to add photos and nice things I do have left and then I have a real home, not a college dorm. I took some pics of my last place and some pics of my new home and I would love to share them with you. Now, I have put up pictures on the walls since I took these, but it still gives you an idea of why I am so happy to finally have a place that looks like someone's home. I feel like I have finally left my wandering gypsy, college living days behind me.

My old place:














My new place:















And last but not least the view from my kitchen window:

Why I am a freak. (or at least todays reason)

Do you get nervous when you cook for your family? Do you cook for your family? I was utterly terrified when my parents were coming and one of the reasons why was that I would have to cook for them. Over the years since I have been out on my own, I have succintly avoided cooking but I knew that this time, I would have to bite the bullet. My mom is a fabulous cook and I can in no way compare to the kind of cooking she does. She makes these 5 course wonder meals that leave you coming back for 4ths and 5ths with mouth watering speed. My great talent in the kitchen is that I can look into an apparently bare kitchen and produce something yummy to eat in 30 minutes or less. I have a talent that impresses the ranks of my unable to cook friends. My talents are not up to impressing chefs and kitchens wizards. This time, however, I seem to be holding my own. Yesterday, I made my shortcut chicken teriyaki (which is yummy even if I can't spell it). Today, I made an easy yummy recipe, roast beef and vegetables. Tomorrow is Chili and after that I think they are leaving. They have to, I am running out of recipes to impress them with.

Mindless Ramblings about The Visit.

Prince Charming is being wonderful and not acting frustrated at my parents visit. I think it is due to the fact that he has his own space. He doesn't have to go to bed when they are tired. He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to. The only thing he gave up was his bed so that they could sleep in the nice bed in our room and we could sleep on the air mattress on the floor in the office.

The Little Princess is madly in love with her grandparents and she shines every time she sees them. They laugh at her going to bed and singing for 3 hours before going to sleep. They love her enthusiasm and her energy.

I had to laugh. Mom and dad went for a walk after supper and they aren't used to rural living. There were no street lights. It was pitch black. By the time they got to the end of our extremely, very, unbelievably long, driveway, they couldn't see the road. It was too dark for them and they didn't feel comfortable walking any further. They turned around and came right back. I don't know why but it made me giggle a little.

Dad even lay down on the floor and cuddled with her while she watched Rubba Dubbers. Looking at them on the floor together, I was transported back in time to a time when I was small and I too cuddled my father on the floor watching television with him. And looking at him, I know that he was remembering too. It is so sweet to watch grown men fall in love with their grandchildren all over again.

Quick note from the Land of Dial-up Woes.

Thanks for the warm welcome. I am glad to be back. I have to let you know that I have been demoted to the land of dial-up internet access and so I may be a little slower for a while. Well that and my parents are here visiting for a couple of days. I was terrified for them to come. I haven't seen them for a year and I was worried about making a good impression, about Prince Charming being comfortable and happy, about cooking for the wonder-chef herself, my mother. I was so scared I couldn't sleep last night but they have been here for a couple of hours and it is going well. They are completely in love with the Little Princess, but then again, who wouldn't be. Hey, it's my blog I can be a little biased if I want to! Hee hee!. The Little Princess was thrilled with them and completely wired bouncing around showing them everything again and again. Very cute. I will check back in later and after their visit is over, I will drop by and visit some of my blog friends that I have been neglecting.

Home Again

I am back my friends and there were many ups and downs and more adventures to add to this fiasco of a move. But as I suspected, the end was worth the pain of getting here. I missed you and every day, I thought of things that would be funny to share with you. But alas, that time has passed and the amusing antecdotes seem to have slipped away from me. Perhaps later, I will remember some bits to share with you but for now, I will just tell you about today.

It is Thursday afternoon and I have been here about a week. I stand at my kitchen sink and watch the white caps on the waves and listen to the roar of the wind as blows across the ocean. I love it here. I love the peacefulness. I love that any time of day I may get a call or a knock on my door of some relative who just wanted to stop by for a minute or who just wanted to chat. I love that my Little Princess runs through the "forest" in our front yard. Which is really just a stand of 35 trees in front of my house. I love to watch her running through her grandparents yard, chasing their dog, playing catch and picking flowers. There are downsides to living next door to Grandpa Grumpy but watching him melt into little puddles as he laughingly sneaks her grapes at the grocery store makes it all worthwhile. Having Grandma Great call me to ask me if I would like a little fish since Prince Charming hates it and I won't cook it is awesome.

It is remote here and the pace of life is slow. It feels a little like the lazy hazy days of summer with much colder weather. Here even the cloudy days have silver linings and even bad news comes as kites with tails of good news attached.

Every day I stand and look at the ocean across my backyard and I feel the strongest sense of peace I have ever felt. It is rainy and cold (and I suspect even snowing) outside but I am happy because I am home. My home is beautiful and I am proud of it for the first time in my life. At any moment anyone can come to my house and go through every room but the storage room and find it neat and in order, even my bedroom. I am contented in a way I have never been before and it feels great. I know there there are downsides to living so far away from things but here I feel like I can face whatever storms that are ahead. Here, I feel at peace. Here my Little Princess is happy and safe and carefree. And for today, that is all that I want or care about.