Connection

I think I have mentioned here in that this pregnancy came a lot quicker than I expected. Since it took soooo many years to get pg with Princess Magpie, I just expected it to take longer this time. so when I got pregnant so quickly, I was surprised. This pregnancy took on a dream-like, unreal feel to me. I mean, it makes no sense because I am crazy sick with it, but I had difficulties connecting that to a real live baby growing inside me.

Well last night, for the first time, I spontaneously spoke to my baby. I was watching a show and the baby was born with breathing troubles and I looked down at my belly and said, "Pumpkin you make sure you stay in there until you are completely cooked and ready to be out here, okay?". I looked back at the show and realized what I had done. I had connected with my baby. For the first time. For the first time, I really knew that there is an actual baby growing inside me. (I mean I knew intellectually all along but now my heart new too). Tears started forming in the corners of my eyes as I realized. I felt actual love for my baby.

This may sounds silly but I spoke to Princess Magpie as soon as I got the positive test. She was real to me right away. As was Daniella, the baby I lost. I have always had a very strong connection to my babies, even when I was pregnant. It bothered me that I didn't have that yet with this baby. And I couldn't understand why other than the shock of how quickly it came just made it feel unreal. But now, that isn't so anymore. I am having those wonderful moments of connection that I love so much.

Princess Belle's Appointment

I am tired tonight. We took Princess Belle to the Pediatric Development Specialist today. The results were confusing and surprising. There will be more testing and appointments, but I don't really know what to think right now.

Wordless Wednesday -- sneaking tv peeks

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