Thursday Thoughts

I was nervous yesterday morning and the evening before. I hadn't felt any movements from the baby and I was getting scared. I know my feeling the baby is a little limited because of the placenta being in the front, but I had been feeling her and suddenly I couldn't. I drank some orange juice . . . . waiting . . . . nothing. I got busy again and then drank some more . . . . waited . . . . and there she was! A big huge kick! Then last night, I was eating spicy supper and she really started kicking. Apparently she doesn't like when I eat spicy food. LOL What a relief. I have decided that I am keeping orange juice and spicy foods around for every time I get nervous and need to feel her kick me.

As I felt her kicking me, she felt so real, like a real baby in there. I started to wonder about her. How big is she now? How big will she be when she is born? Where exactly is she right now? What will she be like. It was nice to sit there bonding with my baby. It was a wonderful time.

There has been so much going on and I have been so stressed I just haven't been obsessing thinking about her as much as I did in my previous pregnancies. I have felt guilty about that. I have been afraid that this baby won't feel that she is as special as my other babies. That I won't love her enough. But as I feel her move, as I feel closer to her, I begin to realize that I will love her just as much as my other babies. She will know that each of my babies are super-special and that all my children are my world.