Sad

For quite some time now, I have had an episode of 19 kids and Counting on my DVR but I haven't been up to watching it.  I knew I wanted to at some point, but I wasn't there yet.  You see I felt a connection with Michelle Duggar in this last pregnancy.  We were both older mothers, her youngest daughter, Josie was born around the same time as my youngest daughter, Princess Snifflefritz and her new baby was due the same time at Little Prince was due.  I was cheering her on when she was pregnant and when she lost her baby, I remembered my pain when I lost a baby and I thought about my baby boy and how that could so easily have been me losing him. 

So tonight, I finally felt strong enough to watch the episode without it completely breaking my heart.  I did get through it, and I am glad I watched it.  It was so completely heartbreaking to see that little coffin.  I heard her words and I was moved to tears.  I cried the tears of a mother who understand the pain of losing a baby that never got to know your love, I held my son a little longer after it was over and remembered how completely grateful I am for every single one of my children.