Sep 29, 2014

A Way

People have been talking about whether or not they would change their autistic child if they were given the chance, would they take their autism away.  In Princess Belle's case I have always said that I wouldn't.  I love all the parts of the person that she is and I am afraid that taking away the autism would mess up that fine balance.  She is high-functioning and her difficulties are less pronounced a lot of the time.  I think that leads to people expecting too much of her sometimes, of not giving her the little bit of understanding that she needs, but I think in her case, I would rather choose to change them instead of changing her.

But I think there is more to it than that.  She has every opportunity to lead a full and wonderful life without limits as far as I can see.  She is wonderful.

Little Prince is a different story.  Don't get me wrong. He is completely wonderful and I adore every little inch of his little body and the feeling of his arms around my neck as I carry him up the stairs to bed is a feeling that can't be matched.  I am so blessed that I was the person that was chosen to be his mommy.  I am grateful for him every single day.  But I worry for him.  I worry about his ability to make himself understood.  Sometimes he wants something or doesn't want something and there is no way for him to let me know other than to panic and scream.  Usually I figure it out quickly, but not always.  It must be so frustrating in his little mind.  He can't make me see what he wants, he doesn't know how to tell me.  I wonder if he is lonely, sad, frustrated, or even if he is hungry.  Would he eat my cupboards bare if only I could know the right foods to put on his plate?

So in his case, I don't know if I would take his autism away and bring him into our world, or just figure out a way into his so that we could understand each other a little better. I love my baby boy with my every fiber of my soul and I just want to know how to make his world a happy place to be. 


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