Oct 28, 2014

Trying but Failing

I am having a tired day.  Little Prince had one of those nights where he woke up randomly crying and couldn't  settle down.  So as a result we are both sleep deprived.

These are the times where the non-verbal part of his autism really bothers me.  I would love to know what his trouble was.  Hungry?  Here let me feed you!  Scared?  Bad Dream?  Feeling sick?  I will gladly cuddle you until you feed better.  I just want to know what the trouble is.  I am the mommy, I fix things.  But how can I fix it, if you can't tell me what needs fixing.

So here we are in the middle of the night and Little Prince is having one of those nights. Those nights where he is crying hysterically and I don't know why. I have fixed everything I can and nothing is fixed. So finally, I get up at 3 in the morning and I carry him downstairs. He can't tell me what is wrong, and I am ONE TIRED GROUCHY MOMMY. And as I try to maintain the proper amount of grouchy for a person woken up in the middle of the night, he is just so very happy that I am carrying him downstairs that he is shivering with joy. He keeps hugging me, squeezing me with his arms and his legs and putting his head into my shoulder. Clearly he is very happy to be up with me and completely unconcerned that I am trying to be grouchy here. And you know what?  It is really very hard to be grouchy when you are being hugged by your baby boy.  So, I completely failed in my attempt to stay either grouchy or tired and we both sat up and watched Beat Bobby Flay together until the sun started to come up.

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