As I mentioned before, I have been watching old episodes of the show, "Judging Amy".  I didn't watch it when it was on and I have been enjoying watching it now.  But then I found out that Amy was going to have a miscarriage.  I was instantly nauseous.  I suddenly found myself with four episodes on the DVR as I procrastinated watching the next few episodes, as if in some way, if I avoided watching, I could keep her pregnant, I could keep her from experiencing the horrible pain that I did and I wouldn't have to watch it.  Now, I am not crazy, I know this is tv-land and none of this actually happened.  And when it didn't happen was a long time ago.  But I just couldn't get myself to watch the episode leading up to her miscarriage and I couldn't delete them and say I was just not going to watch them either.  So this weekend, I watched them.  I sat down and through my tear-soaked eyes, I watched her experience the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me.  It was awful, but I did it.  Now I will see her get stronger and move on.  I live in hope that she will get pg again one day, but seeing as how I am near the end of the series, I doubt it.  I have no idea why I chose to blog about this, but I am sitting here in a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions and I just needed somewhere to let a little of them out.  So you were my victims.  I promise to have some shiny happy posts sometime soon.
 
 
1 comment:
*sigh* I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on my worst enemy... (If I had an enemy...)
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