Oct 6, 2005

The day the savages attacked.

I have discovered something. The people in charge of keeping our children in line are the biggest bunch of savages I have ever seen. I volunteered to help organize a coffee break for 500 teachers at a conference here in town with the profits going to the Boys and Girls Club.

First up was morning tea and coffee. Enter said savages. 500 teachers crammed around 3 coffee urns complaining that there should be milk as well as creamer and that there should be breakfast as well as coffee. I get bombarded with complaint after complaint as these teachers rapidly drain all 3 urns of every drop of coffee they could possibly drain, even tipping them up so as to get the last drops.

After the teachers finally leave, we run around and spread out a feast of muffins, granola bars, breakfast bars, fruit, cakes, juice, tea, coffee and water. Just as we finish setting up, I hear a rumbling in the distance. The horde of savages tromping down the hallway. Suddenly they decended upon us arms and hands flying as food flew by our heads. Wrappers and containers were thrown carelessly to aside as they landed like vultures as the table. Within 10 minutes the tables were picked clean and the teachers the set upon the garbage, flinging garbage this way and that in the hopes that one bar or juice may have gotten buried in the mess.

When they discovered the food set aside for the next day, there was momentary excitement until that too evaporated into nothingness. Once the food was gone, the horde attacked. They decended at my feet, complaining that there was nothing left and how dare I let this happen as though this was my diabolical plan to starve 500 people just to see how they would react. I hid in my corner with my arms over my head, and when the bombardment stopped I peaked out between my fingers and the crowd had disappeared. They had left with only the mountains of garbage to remind me of the savages that had been there to begin with.

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