Sep 13, 2012

Rambling Thoughts from an Overtired Mommy

Its funny but there are times when I feel like that for all the housework sometimes gets behind, I am a better mom now to four kids than I was when I was younger and just had one.  There are differences.

I take more actual time with my kids.  I may be making dinner, or cleaning the house or in some other way distracted but these days I am more likely to stop and cuddle and talk and giggle and listen to my kids rather than asking them to wait until I am ready.  I still don't get everything done that I want to, but I think I ere on the side of my kids instead of on the side my housework. 

I also have more patience than I did.  I have developed the skill of talking to three kids at the same time and listening to them all.  I always have time to kiss a booboo better, to cuddle a child, to listen to a joke that makes NO SENSE at all and still giggle at the joy with which it was told, and to just enjoy all the silly stories and shows and fun stuff that they come out with.

I guess what it comes down to, is I am a better mom now because my kids really are at the top of my list.  When I was first a mom, I was too stressed.  I wanted to get it all done and to do it all right.  I was afraid of what others thought of me.  I was afraid and stressed and tired and at times depressed and I think my daughter came out on the bottom of my list of things to do sometimes.  But she is such a GREAT kid and she is so special, I know how important being her mom is and I know how very fast it all goes by.  So, even though I NEVER get enough sleep and even though my house is never clean enough to suit me, I take the time to enjoy being with her now and I give my time to my younger ones too.

There are days I get down on myself about housework or some other similar thing but I remember the song, "It'll Come Back" and the poem, "Only One Childhood" and they remind me that there will be plenty of time to have a perfectly clean house when I don't have kids running around to fill it. 


Only One Childhood
By: Author Unknown

I stopped to watch my little girl busy playing in her room. In one hand was a plastic phone; in the other a toy broom. I listened as she was speaking to her make believe little friend And I'll never forget the words she said, even though it was pretend.

She said, "Suzie's in the corner cuz she's not been very good. She didn't listen to a word I said or do the things she should." In the corner I saw her baby doll all dressed in lace and pink. It was obvious she'd been put there to sit alone and think.

My daughter continued her "conversation," as I sat down on the floor. She said, "I'm all fed up, I just don't know what to do with her anymore? She whines whenever I have to work and wants to play games, too. She never lets me do the things that I just have to do?

She tries to help me with the dishes, but her arms just cannot reach... And she doesn't know how to fold towels. I don't have the time to teach. I have a lot of work to do and a big house to keep clean. I don't have the time to sit and play -- don't you know what I mean?"

And that day I thought a lot about making some changes in my life; as I listened to her innocent words that cut me like a knife. I hadn't been paying enough attention to what I hold most dear. I'd been caught up in responsibilities that increased throughout the year.

But now my attitude has changed, because, in my heart, I realize... I've seen the world in a different light through my little darling's eyes. So, let the cobwebs have the corners and the dust bunnies rule the floor, I'm not going to worry about keeping up with them anymore.

I'm going to fill the house with memories of a child and her mother... For we are granted only one childhood, and we will never get another.


Leanne said...

I hear you. Enjoy all those years, and keep putting them at the top of your list. My oldest just moved out and even with two left behind - she left a large lonely silence. I'm counting the days until Christmas. :)

Unknown said...

I admit, I struggle with all of this. I struggle with is LESS than when I was first a Mom, but still I feel pressure to have the dinner on the table soon after my husband gets home and to have a clean house when people visit. I get stressed about these things not getting done and then the kids just make the stress worse. But at least I am at the point where I know I should treasure these days with my littles. So I do. When I am feeling this way, I know it is time for a snuggle.

Julie said...

Spend all the time you can with them, because you are right... It's over in the wink of an eye!