Jul 13, 2010

I am so sad


I find it hard sometimes. As I mentioned, Princess Belle has High Functioning Autism. And it makes me so sad that the people I expect to be the most understanding and loving in regards to her, seem to be the least. Every time I visit, it feels like they are sitting there with a list of checks and balances listing all her faults. And they are so quick to jump on her, to remember every little thing. To reduce her to tears.

Prince Charming used to take Princess Belle for walks by an apple tree and they would collect apples. So when she came across an apple tree in the yard, she picked the only apple on the tree. I know she shouldn't have. I know she should have asked. But to ask her, "Don't you EVER leave ANYTHING alone?" reducing her to tears and to sit there coldly ignoring her as she sobbed she was sorry, just broke my heart.

And to find out that someone else whom I would least expect it was also listing and remembering her faults. They used to bring little treats like bags of chips or whatnot and Princess Belle being the way she is can't find it within herself to tell a white lie. If you give her a bag of chips and it isn't the kind she wanted, she will tell you. If you give her a barbie and it is wearing the wrong color skirt, she will tell you. She appreciates it, and she will play with the toy or eat the treat, but she feels the need to tell you what she thought. I keep trying to tell her to say, "Thank you." and leave it at that, but we are still working on it. But, to find out that they were so upset about her reactions to presents that they stopped bringing her things. Just breaks my heart.

I HATE it. I hate that I can't relax. That I have to sit there worried about every little thing she does because I know they are watching and judging her. Just crushes my soul. I want them to love her like I do. I want them to see the better side of her. But they don't, they won't and probably never will. I can honestly say that when I move, I probably won't be back for a visit for a good long time. I just can't.


#Autism

5 comments:

Alina said...

Ohh people can be so harsh to judge and not stop to think... Please don't let it get to you. I know exactly what you mean though. English is my 6-year-old's third language, so far from perfect, so people always treat her like she is dumb and speak to her loud and slowly. You sound like you are doing a great job with your girls!

Angel said...

That makes me so sad :( She is lucky to have a Mother who understands and loves her just the way she is!

Anonymous said...

I think my heart just broke a bit.

I have several friends who have children on the Autism spectrum, and it's been incredibly eye-opening to me. I no longer see a child apparently misbehaving in a store and assume that: A) they're a brat or b) their parents are doing a lousy job. Now I understand that there may be more to the situation that is apparent just by looking. I know now to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, after learning so much from my friends and their amazing children.

You're doing a wonderful job, and she is so incredibly lucky to have a mother like you!

Julie said...

I'm sorry to hear that. :(

(((HUGS)))

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Dove's Rest said...

Hi Twisted Cinderella, thanks for visiting us at Dove's Rest.
You are not alone in this sadness. We have just recently spent a week with family that treated our son as less than human, barely to be seen and definitely not heard.Our ds8 was diagnosed Asperger Syndrome. We won't be staying there again but will visit and stay elsewhere. It has taken 3 weeks to get over some of the incidents but we try very hard not to dwell on it. Be encouraged. Our ds see's it like a super power or gift and we are living life with him enjoying every day.Our children will be fine because they have us and people that see their potential and all the positives and love them regardless. We don't live in the lable of AS, and rarely talk about it. Reading your post though has inpsired me to write something about it. Take care & blessings, Renelle

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