I think I'm being punished.

I was standing at a grocery store and I saw the headline, "Love Your Body-5 Tips to get you started". Now ignoring the obvious kinky overtones, I think loving my body would an exercise in futility since my body so obviously hates me.

I guess all those years of ignoring my body and assuming that we would reconcile in the end was foolish. In high school I punished my body, I ate as little as possible and then vomited what I had to eat to keep up appearances. Later on, I worked at a physical job and ignored my body's obvious complaints as climbed numerous ladders and kneeled endlessly on cement floors. I worked hard and punished my body, I was young and my body could take it, right?

Well now instead of punishing my body, my body punishes me. If I walk too far, stand too long, sit the wrong way those knees I punished sure as heck punish me back! And don't even get me started on all those years of punishing my digestive track. Now, nausea and heartburn are the name of the game and a small elephant would probably be in my weight class should I ever take up wrestling not that my back would allow any such nonsense.

I swear, if I were ever to go to the doctor and tell him all the parts of my body that are currently punishing me, he would have me fitted for a body cast, put on a liquid diet and locked up in a padded room. No one person can really have this many issues. Well without instead having mental issues. And I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy (ignore the wild-eyed look on my face, I'm not crazy I tell you!

With this new move, my body had decided that the stress is too much and it has kicked Operation Punish Twisted Cinderella into high gear. Now I get special treats of occasional heart palpitations, constant headaches and incessant stomach aches. Oh ain't life grand. I just need to fall down and break a bone to make day complete.

I have a message for my body. I surrender. If I promise to treat you nicely will you cut me some slack? I am only 33 and I don't think I should live like a old lady quite yet. (stop laughing, I'm not old I tell you!)