Nov 25, 2005

I am sad.

Ever since I found him, Prince Charming has been my Galahad, my White Knight. He is my shelter from all the big bad in the world. I lean on him and I depend on him to protect me. But there are times, I wish I could return the favor. Last night after going to see his father, Grandpa Grumpy, Prince Charming came home devastated. Well apparently GG was having a few drinks with the boys and he felt it necessary to point out to PC what a failure he is.

I looked at his face and looked into the eyes of a ten year old boy who had failed yet again to meet up with his father's expectations. I looked into the eyes of pain. How can I protect him from that? How can I look into those eyes and erase the pain. How can I explain to him that whether or not he ever gets another job he will never be a failure to me or to our daughter.

He has been trying so hard, and things have been going so well between them but last night, I looked into his face and saw, "Why bother?" written there. I feel his pain just the same as if it were happening to me. More so, because I am strong and I can take it. But I love him and I don't want him to be unhappy. I want him to be proud of us, of himself. He is the best man I know. And it kills me to see his father cut him down to the point that he withdraws into a shell all the while saying he is fine, he is a big strong man, he doesn't care. But I KNOW him. I know he cares. I can see he cares. And it kills me. I would love to make GG understand how much he hurts PC when he does that. But on some level I honestly don't think GG would care even if he did know. And that is the saddest part of all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Everyone had some great comments. I am sorry your PC has to deal with GG... it's obvious you're a very loving and caring wife. I am sure that helps some with your PC.