I don't know if I have mentioned in the past, but I am slightly estranged from my family. I mean, I love them dearly but for complicated reasons involving religion and making personal choices, we just don't see each other that much. Okay that may be a slight understatement. I have not seen my parents in over 4 years. And there are members of my extended family that I haven't spoken to in over 6 years. My parents do call me occasionally and we talk about the kids and who in my extended family is sick or doing poorly in some way. Then they make me feel guilty about my religious choices, feel their job has been done, and we hang up. It is uncomfortable and unpleasant but at least it is civil.
Yesterday, I was on facebook and I came across my brother's page. I was looking at his pics and I didn't even recognize my sister! I thought my mother was my grandmother. I caught my mistake within a couple of minutes but it struck me how sad it is that I didn't even know them. I used to talk to them several times a day. I wouldn't make any major decisions without calling my father to get his opinion. But I grew up. I made my own choices and even now 10 years after those choices were made, they aren't over it. I get that. I am not even angry about it. I love them dearly and don't want them to be sad. But I have no desire to call them for uncomfortable conversations which end in my mother making me feel guilty in some way or the other. And I have no desire to go there for a visit for an extended version of the "how can we make her change her life" game. And they obviously feel the same, since they haven't been to visit in over 4 years.
Anyway, since I kind of lost my family, when I married Prince Charming, his family became mine. They are a funny bunch and some of them live their lives like they are in Soap-Opera-land, but my Mother-in-law is one of my favorite people in the world. She loves me like I am her own daughter. I can trust her to love me and not judge me. I can tell her anything. We have discussed everything from our sex lives to our children and our philosophy on life.
I am not sad about my life. I love it. I feel bad for my parents. They are missing out on some pretty wonderful granddaughters. I am happy with my life. I didn't make these decisions to spite anyone and my life is nobody's "fault". I am a homeschooling, stay-at-home mother of three beautiful daughters. I don't practice any religion, life is to short to do so out of guilt. But I am okay with that too. And there is nothing wrong with my choices. I don't have to live my life their way. And if I am not good enough for anyone in my family then that is their loss.
Yesterday, I was on facebook and I came across my brother's page. I was looking at his pics and I didn't even recognize my sister! I thought my mother was my grandmother. I caught my mistake within a couple of minutes but it struck me how sad it is that I didn't even know them. I used to talk to them several times a day. I wouldn't make any major decisions without calling my father to get his opinion. But I grew up. I made my own choices and even now 10 years after those choices were made, they aren't over it. I get that. I am not even angry about it. I love them dearly and don't want them to be sad. But I have no desire to call them for uncomfortable conversations which end in my mother making me feel guilty in some way or the other. And I have no desire to go there for a visit for an extended version of the "how can we make her change her life" game. And they obviously feel the same, since they haven't been to visit in over 4 years.
Anyway, since I kind of lost my family, when I married Prince Charming, his family became mine. They are a funny bunch and some of them live their lives like they are in Soap-Opera-land, but my Mother-in-law is one of my favorite people in the world. She loves me like I am her own daughter. I can trust her to love me and not judge me. I can tell her anything. We have discussed everything from our sex lives to our children and our philosophy on life.
I am not sad about my life. I love it. I feel bad for my parents. They are missing out on some pretty wonderful granddaughters. I am happy with my life. I didn't make these decisions to spite anyone and my life is nobody's "fault". I am a homeschooling, stay-at-home mother of three beautiful daughters. I don't practice any religion, life is to short to do so out of guilt. But I am okay with that too. And there is nothing wrong with my choices. I don't have to live my life their way. And if I am not good enough for anyone in my family then that is their loss.
1 comment:
I was estranged from a lot of members of my family too, for a while... Slowly we are working our ways back to each other, but it's going to be a long road... *sigh*
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