Bad Bad Day

Two bad things happened in my world today and they both broke my heart completely. Firstly, one of my favorite people in the world, Prince Charming's Uncle passed away. I loved him. He was always there for us. Prince Charming spoke to him several times every day on the phone. He was there in the hospital the day that Princesss Belle was born. When we had no washer, we did our laundry at his house. He was the only person to have a positive initial reaction to our trying to have a third child. He had OI (Brittle Bone disease) he was in a wheel chair, but I would never call him disabled. I have never met a more ABLE man in my life. There is nothing in the world that he couldn't do and nothing he wouldn't do for us. He just needed a different way to do it. There is so much more I could say, but I will just say that his passing left a giant hole in our lives that I don't know how it will get filled.

The second bad thing happened when we told Princess Belle and she was devistated. She was send home from school AGAIN (this is daily now) today because they couldn't handle her (due to Asperger issues). Anyway, Prince Charming explained to her that in he was in heaven now and he was in peace and that he was no longer in a wheel chair because in heaven everyone's sicknesses are healed. She was crying and really upset. She cuddled him and thought about that for a while, then she started to cry again and came over to me and whispered in my ear, "Mommy, I wish I could die because then I wouldn't have Aspergers any more." My EIGHT YEAR OLD baby girl is so upset and so traumatized by school these days, by her issues, by her promising to be good and failing and being punished there daily that they have gotten her to a point where she wishes she would DIE!!! It broke my heart. I sobbed and hugged her and told her that I loved her just the way she is. That Aspergers is a part of what makes her her and I wouldn't change not one hair on her head. I told her that I LOVED her and that she and her sisters are my life and I NEVER want to be without her. She promised me she wouldn't wish that anymore, but it killed me a little. I have only ever wanted her to be happy. I know she hasn't been lately. I know that she begs me to stay home and be schooled at home. I know that she feels like she fails when she tries to be good and can't. I know the she has escalated in the last couple of weeks to a point where she is running out of the classroom, she is hiding, she is pushing chairs and tables. My sweet, loving, would never hurt anyone, big hearted baby girl is throwing chairs and hiding under tables screaming. We have decided that we are pulling her out now. We are contacting our lawyer tomorrow. We are sending in the papers, but we are NOT sending her back to that place. They can't control her. She hasn't done any work at all in weeks and she is slowly being destroyed. When a normally happy eight year old girl wishes she would die, it is time to stop and fix it. Red tape and paper work can go straight to hell (sorry for the strong language, but my heart broke twice today and I just can't take it anymore)