Jun 29, 2006

What Happens?

Why is it that people who used to be the most important people in your life drift out of it or move off to the sidelines. That friend that I used to call and visit every single day? I haven't spoken to her in an ENTIRE YEAR! Even my family, I used to call my dad with every little thing that happened in my life. He was the centre of my universe, the one I went to when I was confused, worried, or scared. He was the one I went to for advice and I thought he was about the most perfect man in the world. These days, I don't call him at all. When he calls, I cringe, waiting for that criticism, that sound of disappointment, or the bad news that someone else has died, fallen sick or some other tragedy. It isn't right and I know that most of the distance between those people that I care about and myself is my own fault. I just don't know how to go back. And sometimes, I am not sure that I want too. Is that wrong? Am I a terrible daughter? I really don't know the answer. I do know that I am a grown up now and the man that that now shares the centre of my universe with our daughter is also my best friend. He is the one I go to when I am confused, worried, or scared, the one I go to for advice and while he isn't the most perfect man in the world, but he IS the PERFECT man for me.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If your dad has stopped the contact as well, then you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Both of you have dropped the ball and it sounds like you both are expecting the other to pick it up.

Our time on earth is short, so talk to your dad while you can.

Anonymous said...

no baby, you're just a grown up now.

and it's hard.

go get ice cream, it helps.

Anonymous said...

i agree with trin

Anonymous said...

I think you have your priorities in order..

My very best friend in the universe (girlfriend, that is) moved to Missouri.. I went from seeing her/ talking to her every single day, to once every few months. But it is ok, just different.

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