Not What I Expected

I always thought I would be one of those madonnaesque painting type moms smiling lovingingly while children play adoringly around my feet clinging to my skirts while I am peaceful and happy. I never expected to get frustrated. I have so much love to give, I thought that would be enough to make everything else fall into place. I never thought there would be days when I was thrilled that the screaming alien who has possessed my child has finally given up the fight and fallen asleep out of exhaustion from the drama of fighting once again to be able to eat popcorn for supper instead of something hideously healthy like spaghetti or some other such dreadful concoction. I thought it would be easy. I truly did. I never thought I would be the one sitting outside her door crying while she throws a temper tantrum on the other side.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't happen often. And, maybe that is why it is so hard. She is such a happy easy going kid that when for some reason all that goes out the window and she turns into a 4 year old demanding alien child, I am thrown for a loop. I feel like I have no tools to deal with that and simply loving her out of it doesn't work. They were wrong, when they told me love was enough. Sometimes as a mom, love is the only tool I have, and it doesn't feel like enough.

On a happier note, there are other days. Better Days. Days that come far more often than the ones I discussed here. There are the days that she comes home from preschool thrilled to see me, showing off the results of all her hard work. There are days we cuddle together and watch Blues Clues and read stories or just cuddle on her bed, and there is simply the feeling of her holding my hand. Those are the days that make those other more rare days worth surviving.

on a funny little note: the day care teacher told me that when Little Princess doesn't want to do any more letters and numbers she tells her that the pencil is tired. LOL