Arguing with Bob

Okay this computer of mine, I'll call him Bob, is going to cause me to do something drastic. Bob has his own personality and apparently I have done something to offend him. I have tried being extra nice and spending more time with him and whispering sweet nothings in his speakers, but apparently it takes more than that to sooth Bob's injured feelings.

Bob has taken to throwing tantrums that consist of such frustrating antics as locking up, turning himself off at random moments and the most common trait of all, shutting down various programs like Adobe Photoshop or Explorer with no notice. This is very frustrating and if you walk by my house you may be subjected to all kinds of colorful language as Bob and I argue over who exactly is the boss in this situation. I keep saying that I control the power, the keys and the hard drive and Bob's response is to give me a raspberry and shut down. I swear in the silence that follows, I can hear mechanical laughing.

There are days, I would like to leave Bob on the corner for some other poor unsuspecting fool to love, but then, I wouldn't be able to chat with you guys and I think I would slowly lose my mind. (But then again, I am arguing with a computer so maybe it is too late for that).

I tell myself that I can leave Bob, I don't need him. He is too much of a pain in the ass and I can move on, but like a drug addicted hooker I keep coming back for more punishment because lets face it when faced with a happy life without Bob, his issues and the internet, I would rather be unhappy.

I have to go now, because I have typed way to much and Bob is giving me the evil eye. If he shuts down now, I may have to hurt someone.